I Cast my Crown

Days where my pride overtakes every ounce of Christ-likeness in me. When I'm fumbling and fuming all in one breath. This is when I cast my crown.

I cast my crown and say not my will but Yours.

I cast my crown and say to You belongs honor.

I cast my crown because I have no good thing apart from He who crowned me.

This beautiful God crowned me with grace and glory. Yeah, He dreamed of me. Yeah, He thought of every quirk, every intonation of my voice, every freckle on my face. So really my good is His.

Today I choose mercy.

I give mercy to the people who knowingly or unknowingly offended me. I extend mercy to myself for dwelling on lies straight from the enemy about my worth, my purpose, my value. I must do this. I have to. Life is a vapor and it is fading ever so quickly. My minor pains and bruises are so miniscule and petty compared to the real injustice occurring in this world. To the merciful, He shows Himself merciful.

I cast my crown and I weep.

I weep over pain.

I weep because it's so silly how much pain I feel over the silliest comment. I weep because I know that God weeps with me over these tiny, itty bitty infractions. No one else sees, but Him. He knows every detail of my life.

I cast my crown and I hold the hand of He who holds this world.

God never enacts the pause control button on the world. He never escapes into fantasy just to not feel the pain over betrayal, to not feel the atrocities of abuse, to not see the hate and murder in families. He never slumbers. He never sleeps.

And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. -Hebrews 4.13

I cast my crown, again for I am naked before God. Every vulnerability, every wall of defense, every well articulated argument is leveled before Him.

This is good news. He knows me. He extends mercy because of His humility. He takes my crown that I've casted down and places it back onto my mangled hair. And says, today I've crowned you, today I've given you grace and glory.

He gives us so much dignity. He gives us so much honor. He gives grace and glory to us.

That's why I can cast my crown and love God all the more than I did moments before.