Missed Connection

The inner chamber of the soul is where God is found. It’s in the deepest part of the heart where communion is really reached. I find that even in the most anointed atmosphere I can remain completely unattached from the presence of Jesus.


The reality of distractions sets in. I forget that there’s one reason, one desire, one passion and it’s for Jesus. I didn’t move to Kansas City to make friends. I didn’t leave my father and mother’s house just to pretend I was praying. I came to Kansas City to sacrifice my youth. I came to lay down, what the world calls, the best years of your life just to have God fill me up. Just to know who this Man is. Just to know what the purpose of life is.

I’m made to love God and be loved by Him. Even in the prayer room, six hours passes and all I’ve really accomplished is answering a few emails, reading a couple passages in the Bible and singing my favorite worship songs.

It’s in the dialing down of my mind. To ignore every distraction and just listen to Him. To stop the traffic and listen. It takes time. Sometimes hours of serious focus on Jesus and His sacrifice. Whispering gently, Jesus, I love You. This is when I find the inner peace, the inner joy, and the moments of communion.

Every day it’s an act of re-signing up to let Jesus have first place, not my schedule, relationships with friends or even the allotted chapters to read in the Word. It’s Him and Him alone. I must realign my heart with this truth and not let anything else take preeminence. No longer a missed connection.