I'm going to blog again. It's a new season for me and I think I need to do this.
For the first time ever, since being in Kansas City for a year, I am
1. On full-time staff at the International House of Prayer: ihopkc.org
2. Have the best set of roommates a girl could ask for: Lauren, Jenny, Regina and Bethany
3. Encountering the love of Jesus via serving Kyl Means, the man I'm in love with
4. Have the least amount of financial stability in my life
5. Knowing that the God of the Universe, the Genesis 1 Creator and Wisdom himself, Jesus, knows me, sees me, fights for me and loves me.
I trust that plenty of hardships will come in the next months, but beautiful moments of glory trump any of that. For these momentary light afflictions are working in me an eternal weight of glory. It's the truth and reality of eternity staring me right in the face that causes my heart to burn with desire and passion to see the captive set free, the lost saved and Jesus my Bridegroom, King and Judge face to face one day.
This is what I'm made for: to love God and to receive His love for me.
Transformation. Regeneration. Sanctification.
Mercy. Compassion. Justice.
Righteousness. Humility. Hunger.
Prophecy. Weakness. Joy.
Love.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Cleansing Rain of Mercy
I haven't blogged lately. The truth is that my heart has been undergoing serious surgery. I wish I could say I've been a faithful bride to Jesus. In confronting my barreness, in this wilderness place where the Lord has been calling me to work through patterns and habits in my life that hinder love, I've ignored Him. I began drinking from broken cisterns, not obvious sins but slight applications of medicating the ache of love. Running around Him and not gazing at His face. I'm so used to drive- through Christianity, in which I can get what I want when I want it. Oh, but His timing and process is increasingly and altogether different than mine.
I replaced voluntary love with the rigors of striving and religiousity. I knew God as my Maker, but I did not have a revelation and experiential knowledge of God as my Husband. "For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth." Isaiah 54: 5 A lover will go farther, with intense diligence in contrast to a worker. I want to be a lover of the gospel, not just a worker.
So I've experienced an element of the Lord's kindness to which I can solemnly admit has lead me to repentence. His mercy has rained down over me, cleansed me. The other lovers promised they would cover and sustain me yet they failed me. Only Jesus satisfies. He tells me not to be afraid in coming back to Him and to just come as I am. No longer dependent on my own strengths and charisma, but leaning upon Him. Truly, truly there is rest in the midst of His will. It takes violence to get up under His yoke, but with genuine ease I remain.
In no way am I above the blood of the spotless Lamb. He keeps on taking me back. I am a trophy of His mercy, I still drip with the blood of the Lamb. Sure and steadfast mercy has never left me alone. The Cross is so beautiful, have you ever truly gazed upon it? He broke down the great wall of enminty and gave me His name. The only thing I can give to Him is the sweet fragrance of my weak but sincere love.
I replaced voluntary love with the rigors of striving and religiousity. I knew God as my Maker, but I did not have a revelation and experiential knowledge of God as my Husband. "For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth." Isaiah 54: 5 A lover will go farther, with intense diligence in contrast to a worker. I want to be a lover of the gospel, not just a worker.
So I've experienced an element of the Lord's kindness to which I can solemnly admit has lead me to repentence. His mercy has rained down over me, cleansed me. The other lovers promised they would cover and sustain me yet they failed me. Only Jesus satisfies. He tells me not to be afraid in coming back to Him and to just come as I am. No longer dependent on my own strengths and charisma, but leaning upon Him. Truly, truly there is rest in the midst of His will. It takes violence to get up under His yoke, but with genuine ease I remain.
In no way am I above the blood of the spotless Lamb. He keeps on taking me back. I am a trophy of His mercy, I still drip with the blood of the Lamb. Sure and steadfast mercy has never left me alone. The Cross is so beautiful, have you ever truly gazed upon it? He broke down the great wall of enminty and gave me His name. The only thing I can give to Him is the sweet fragrance of my weak but sincere love.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Narrow Gate
Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. Matthew 7.14
Am I really on the narrow path?
Am I heading down the way which leads to life or towards destruction?
Is my treasure on earth or in Heaven?
Where do I find my greatest source of joy?
What do I run to when nothing goes right?
What's my attitude like when I get humiliated?
Do I shift blame?
Am I content to keep news to myself or blurt it to everyone I see?
Would I tell a white lie to get out of trouble?
Can I truly say that I live in the spirit or have I begun to be perfected in the flesh?
When's the last time I trembled before the Lord?
Am I overconfident in works?
How often do I linger with Holy Spirit just to be in His presence?
Am I consistently breaking my fast?
Do I fast?
Have I compartmentalized my life?
Do I look to display Jesus everywhere I go?
Am I loving the least of these or sneering at them in my heart?
Is Jesus my day dream?
How do I spend the majority of my time?
To whom is all my attention going?
Is there a passage burning in my heart?
Am I really on the narrow path?
Am I heading down the way which leads to life or towards destruction?
Is my treasure on earth or in Heaven?
Where do I find my greatest source of joy?
What do I run to when nothing goes right?
What's my attitude like when I get humiliated?
Do I shift blame?
Am I content to keep news to myself or blurt it to everyone I see?
Would I tell a white lie to get out of trouble?
Can I truly say that I live in the spirit or have I begun to be perfected in the flesh?
When's the last time I trembled before the Lord?
Am I overconfident in works?
How often do I linger with Holy Spirit just to be in His presence?
Am I consistently breaking my fast?
Do I fast?
Have I compartmentalized my life?
Do I look to display Jesus everywhere I go?
Am I loving the least of these or sneering at them in my heart?
Is Jesus my day dream?
How do I spend the majority of my time?
To whom is all my attention going?
Is there a passage burning in my heart?
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Human Trafficking in Belarus
This is an article I wrote for ExodusCry on the state of human trafficking in Belarus. Belarus is located in Eastern Europe with Poland on the left and Russia on the right. Check out http://exoduscry.com/ for more on human trafficking and how you can join the prayer movement to end slavery.
The country of Belarus has been oppressed by power-hungry regimes since Stalin’s reign in the 1930’s and the following Nazi Germany invasion in 1941. In 1986 the effects of Ukraine’s nuclear explosion at Chernobyl affected hundreds of thousands of people as well as contaminated agricultural land. After becoming an independent country in 1991, Alexander Lukashenko becomes president in 1994. Despite multiple civil protests of his re-election Lukashenko remains in office for his fourth term. Belarus is a lower middle income country. National identity is weak and international isolation mandates dependence on the import of energy and raw materials. Any opposition to government order is quickly silenced and free speech suppressed. Belarus is a source, transit and destination country for human trafficking victims. Young people from low income and dysfunctional families are the most at-risk to become trapped into trafficking. Because of the demoralizing government in Belarus many do not have a voice to speak out against human trafficking.
Current Trafficking Trends
Belarus is one of the top 10 countries of origin for trafficking for prostitution in the world. Many Belarusian women and children find themselves trafficked to European countries. Since the fall of the Iron Curtain and travel restrictions reduced, Belarusian organized crime is increasing in the transporting of girls and women. Women are promised by newspaper advertisements work abroad in restaurants, bars and night clubs. Yet end up in prostitution against their will with threats of violence should they try to escape because of these illegitimate advertisements.
Children between the ages of 11 to 18 from dysfunctional or single-parent families are one of the main targets of traffickers. Many times traffickers are former victims themselves who recruit from local youth clubs, pubs and student hostels in small towns and villages. Girls in particular are manipulated and misinformed by men whose method consists of gaining a girl’s trust in order to sell her. Most often they are used in prostitution and secondarily for the production of pornography. Whereas boys are primarily trafficked eastward to Russia fueling the pornography industry.
Public awareness has been heightened by recent government programs across Belarus where training courses in preventing, combating and addressing social consequences of trafficking were taught. Government leadership has introduced legislation and amended criminal code be in intolerant of trafficking. Despite the increasing knowledge, many accept jobs uninformed whether their job is secure or reliable to remain apart from trafficking. One of the root causes of human trafficking in Belarus is unemployment among young people. Many professional training courses have been provided for the communities of Belarus in order to provide assistance to victims and prevent the increase of this atrocity.
Prayer Points
Unfortunately there is still a need in low-income families for money to eat and as the children take on familial responsibilities it’s imperative that the Church in Belarus is burning and shining to keep many from turning to prostituting themselves or others. Pray for the church in Belarus to be rooted and grounded in the love of Christ that the name of Jesus may go forth in power and truth.
The government in Belarus is corrupt and under a dominating tyrant who silences all who question the law. Pray that the government leaders may have dreams in the night and visions in the day of the Man Jesus unto salvation. Pray also that God would raise up prophetic voices in Belarus to take a place of leadership in government.
Because the majority of trafficking victims in this country are youths, pray for divine protection. Pray also for wisdom and discernment when accepting a job abroad to support their family.
The country of Belarus has been oppressed by power-hungry regimes since Stalin’s reign in the 1930’s and the following Nazi Germany invasion in 1941. In 1986 the effects of Ukraine’s nuclear explosion at Chernobyl affected hundreds of thousands of people as well as contaminated agricultural land. After becoming an independent country in 1991, Alexander Lukashenko becomes president in 1994. Despite multiple civil protests of his re-election Lukashenko remains in office for his fourth term. Belarus is a lower middle income country. National identity is weak and international isolation mandates dependence on the import of energy and raw materials. Any opposition to government order is quickly silenced and free speech suppressed. Belarus is a source, transit and destination country for human trafficking victims. Young people from low income and dysfunctional families are the most at-risk to become trapped into trafficking. Because of the demoralizing government in Belarus many do not have a voice to speak out against human trafficking.
Current Trafficking Trends
Belarus is one of the top 10 countries of origin for trafficking for prostitution in the world. Many Belarusian women and children find themselves trafficked to European countries. Since the fall of the Iron Curtain and travel restrictions reduced, Belarusian organized crime is increasing in the transporting of girls and women. Women are promised by newspaper advertisements work abroad in restaurants, bars and night clubs. Yet end up in prostitution against their will with threats of violence should they try to escape because of these illegitimate advertisements.
Children between the ages of 11 to 18 from dysfunctional or single-parent families are one of the main targets of traffickers. Many times traffickers are former victims themselves who recruit from local youth clubs, pubs and student hostels in small towns and villages. Girls in particular are manipulated and misinformed by men whose method consists of gaining a girl’s trust in order to sell her. Most often they are used in prostitution and secondarily for the production of pornography. Whereas boys are primarily trafficked eastward to Russia fueling the pornography industry.
Public awareness has been heightened by recent government programs across Belarus where training courses in preventing, combating and addressing social consequences of trafficking were taught. Government leadership has introduced legislation and amended criminal code be in intolerant of trafficking. Despite the increasing knowledge, many accept jobs uninformed whether their job is secure or reliable to remain apart from trafficking. One of the root causes of human trafficking in Belarus is unemployment among young people. Many professional training courses have been provided for the communities of Belarus in order to provide assistance to victims and prevent the increase of this atrocity.
Prayer Points
Unfortunately there is still a need in low-income families for money to eat and as the children take on familial responsibilities it’s imperative that the Church in Belarus is burning and shining to keep many from turning to prostituting themselves or others. Pray for the church in Belarus to be rooted and grounded in the love of Christ that the name of Jesus may go forth in power and truth.
The government in Belarus is corrupt and under a dominating tyrant who silences all who question the law. Pray that the government leaders may have dreams in the night and visions in the day of the Man Jesus unto salvation. Pray also that God would raise up prophetic voices in Belarus to take a place of leadership in government.
Because the majority of trafficking victims in this country are youths, pray for divine protection. Pray also for wisdom and discernment when accepting a job abroad to support their family.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
The Journey
Walking where I hear
The sounds of rain
I feel the drops
On my skin
Blurred vision
Tears and rain
Across a dreary meadow
Waits the place of freedom
No matter the risk
There is always life
I will never
Look back
Beauty for my ashes
Joy for mourning
A decaying body
For glory yet to be revealed
A long way to go
Climbing up the hills
A vast wilderness
That requires plowing
Fighting for freedom
Received in grace sufficient
That which I never knew
I had found
Emotions swirling
Spirit speaking
Heart beating
Eyes beholding
Passing through groaning earth
Until New Jerusalem shines
Before me
In just a little while
Face to face
The sounds of rain
I feel the drops
On my skin
Blurred vision
Tears and rain
Across a dreary meadow
Waits the place of freedom
No matter the risk
There is always life
I will never
Look back
Beauty for my ashes
Joy for mourning
A decaying body
For glory yet to be revealed
A long way to go
Climbing up the hills
A vast wilderness
That requires plowing
Fighting for freedom
Received in grace sufficient
That which I never knew
I had found
Emotions swirling
Spirit speaking
Heart beating
Eyes beholding
Passing through groaning earth
Until New Jerusalem shines
Before me
In just a little while
Face to face
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