encounter

One sleepless night, the next morning bright and early consumed with junior high ministry. My mind worries if I will conjure up enough energy to be effective this morning yet my body feels weightlessness as the Holy Spirit sustains. Prompting to visit His creation I find myself driving west to the beach. Upon arriving at Marine Street beach on a clear, 70 degree Sunday morning and hardly a body there I notice the tide has drawn out the sand and all tidepools are exposed.

I sit down on a ledge and allow myself to quiet down the busyness of my thoughts. I begin reading the Psalms that proclaim the works of His hands and write in my leather bound notebook about the wonders of creation and our Creator. Fifteen minutes slip by of silence, a restoration of my soul ensues as I hop down, take off my floral mary-janes, roll up the legs of my jeans and begin a journey.

Mastering the slippery rocks coupled with uneven treading ground proves difficult as the two ton Bible in my bag throws off equilibrium. As I come to terms with my footing I notice a small, deep crevice on the edge of the rock with puddle of water and rocks evenly stacked inside. I made this for you. I knew that your heart would soar when you saw this. I made sure you looked right here and knew that I created this moment, this hole in the tidepool for you to enjoy. I stopped. Creator God, Elohim, called to me, beckoned from heaven that He made this for myself alone.

I began walking. A smooth, evenly-rounded white stone, I made this one for you, I know how you like solid yet elegant beauty. You like it right? I nodded to myself and climbed up an even bigger formation. As my feet came near a slight crack, fear of rock-dwelling crabs scuttling out to pinch my toes overwhelmed me, I've got you. Nothing is going to harm you while I'm here. Calm down, trust where I am leading you. Peace swept over me as I reached the top unscathed.

A couple was coming from the opposite direction. Say hello. While passing them I chipperly exclaimed, "Goodmorning!" I was met with beaming smiles. See, it's not that hard. Every place my eyes rested Elohim proclaimed His goodness and promise of love to me. As He ravished my heart, I ravished His. This dream-like state was reality, His presence washed over and over me as frequently as the waves pounded against the rocks near me. Again and again I heard This is for you. Do you like it? Over and over I rested in the peace of His affections.

The tide started to come in and would soon block me from finding the stairs leading to the street, It's ok, you can turn now. Glory from His essence permeated my steps, no longer feeling exhausted from the previous night, overcome by the Holy Spirit, I knew He cared. After minutes of sheer joy passed and whilst sinking in the holiness of the moment, I found my way back through the tide pools.

Up ahead another couple on a walk with their German Sheppard found their way, crossing my path. I looked at the dog Yes, even the dog is made in my image and is part of who I am. The dog ran ahead of his master, bounding straight for me. The man yelled, "It's ok, he's nice!" I smiled and patted the softness of his head, "Ok, thanks!" The dog followed me as I walked closer to the couple, as I passed them, the woman stopped, turned around and said with a suprise, "I guess He likes you!" My heart skipped, my breath was short, my soul leaped. He likes me. God likes me. He did all of this because of His enjoyment and delight He finds in me.

I gazed towards the crashing waves ahead of me, the majestic force of the lip thrusted white foam across the surface. I watched two waves simultaneously form then crash, You're welcome. I walked back to my car, smiling in disbelief at the incredible revelation. As soon as my key hit the lock, tiredness overwhelmed me. He sustains me.

my psalm

Lord, save me from my despair
Lift up my weary head
Fill my soul with gladness
because of Your love

Hear my cry out to You
Let my voice lift up
Recognize the despair I feel
You sustain my soul
Reconcile my heart, O God

I need Your strength
Hold me
Comfort these lovesick bones
God, I plead for restoration
Carry me through

Mend my brokenness
Sew up this tear
Annoint me with the healing agent of the Holy Spirit

Strengthen these weary eyes
to see Your purpose and plan
You hold all life together
Follow through with Your promise
and uphold me in Your right hand

Be my protector
Like a warrior in battle
Father, I am gripped by surrender

Restore my innocence
Refine me now with fire so that I may glorify You.
Selah

Choice.

Child why have you forsaken me?
It wasn't I who hurt you,
it was the enemy.
Here are my arms
open wide for you,
I'm waiting 'til you decide
that I love you.
Yes I love you,
precious you.

It is easy to blame God for hurt, issues, struggles, brokeness, loss, fear, destruction, death. It is, in fact, a cop out; we are good blame-shifters and bad responsibilty- takers. God gave us choices, He instilled in us a pursuit for ethical decisions. Humanity has contorted, distorted, redefined what "good" is. Comparing our wrongful actions with those associated as "bad" humans rather than the standard of God; ultimately diminishing the perfect-ness. God's glory is so great, so vast, so abundant, so radiant that it merely shines on our face, or ... is supposed to anyways...

Where is the shine? Jesus is the light of the world, but honestly I'm feeling like we are all looking a bit dull. We need a gleen, we need sparkle; fervent shine. Something, no, Someone came and tried to polish us. That Someone tried with all their might to reveal the incredible Creator who loves us, it took death to accomplish yet for some it's just not enough. For some, it's a fairytale story about a man in history who did "good" things for some middle eastern people a long, long time ago. He didn't do "good," He IS good.

He is, just is.

Can you think about that for a moment?

Can you just exist without anything sustaining you, providing you life? God is. We subconsciously take in oxygen in order to live.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.

You begin to notice your heartbeat as blood pulses through your veins. You are once reminded that there is more than the epidermal layer that is the shell of your being. What you see is merely a case to hold the intricties of your bodily functions yet it also holds your emotions, thoughts, soul.

Your soul. Did you forget that you had one? Did you forget that the Holy Spirit of God penetrates you and holds your soul so that you may walk in the ways of God, if you allow it to? If you give over the control, God can change your life. He isn't requiring you to love Him. He doesn't force a relationship with you. You can make that decision on your own, He knows you can handle that choice, but He is jealous for you. That is love.

So when you fall away, when someone pushes you down because they're broken, when you are at a crossroads and decide on the wide path, when you lose hope because the ones you trusted spoon fed you lies: know that it wasn't Him who did it. He set you free to make your decisions yet He also sets you when you let the world overcome you.

He's patienty waiting. He's earnestly watching. He's ready when you are.

more of australyerrr

my dearest margaret just cooked me rice with green peppers after our red pepper was marred with black ambiguity.

"are you trying to kill me bev?" she retorts. how ever could I dare harm my sweet bed mate, or should i matey?

in all seriousness and disregarding the fact of our newfound psuedonyms as a result of our (sarah and mine) close quarters have been quite an experience from our daily trek to and from central train station, almost encounters with gorgeous aussie boys, plastic bags on our shoes to prevent rain soakage, a few blisters later, joel osteen's infectious smile (haha- NOT although his wife is not as stiff as pictures), Isaiah 61 and puzzle pieces, and not to mention a musical number centered around a beautiful Rayban boy we will forever miss and only dream about fondly.

and now a word from sarah:
"my people: *clears throat* from the land that i call home *lunge stance with both hands on hips, chin pointed towards the heavens* whom i love, whom i regard with deepest affection *heel pop and kick and arms up ....sort of* *touches ground* *half split* (narrator notes this may be an extravegant dance) *falls on back* *wheezes* i bid you farewell.

the end????

narrator's note: she just said that should be enough for them, that's all i have to offer, i can't imagine they would need anything else.

there you go, a word from the traveling.

day 1... or 2... in Australia!

We have finally arrived in Sydney, Australia. The city is absolutely massive, no lie, yet so beautiful and eclectic. There's a mix of new age architecture being constructed next to colorful rundown houses; an unexpected asian population surrounds. The taxi drivers are fast and reckless, native aussies consume the sidewalk.

The flight over here was great, I mean as great as a 12 hour flight can take anyways. Sarah and I each watched a movie, slept 7 hours, talked played cards, etc.

The funniest part of our airport experience in Brisbane was walking up to the airport train there was a load of people coming toward us. Mind you we were lugging around guitars, jet lagged and quite disorientated from the madness of an international airport. Continuing forth, an older lady stopped abruptly in front of us with an angry face and declared, "Well?!" when we were stuck in front of her. We were surprised at her sudden irritation with us, we simply didn't recognize a problem. Mere seconds after the incident we both realized that we had been walking on the right side, not the left. Yes, we were the dumb Americans going the wrong way.

Besides that, the girls we are staying with who go to the Hillsong Bible college are so sweet and fun and wonderful and inviting,... you get the picture :)

We'll keep you updated!

Light.

"Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secet to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you there on a hilltop, on a light stand- shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with god, this generous Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16 MSG

GOD said to Paul when he was in Corinth, the Las Vegas of our time:
"Do not be afraid: keep on speaking, do not be silent. For I am wih you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city." Acts 18:9 & 10 NIV

I say, let's be bold and stong; walking in faith everywhere we go. It's time for a revolution, let's continue to be the light together and shine brighter than ever before!

a simple complex

I love it when parents surprise you with their willingess to be open, listen and even joke around in intense and serious confessions.

I seriously wonder if anyone will find better parents than the ones I have. Not only are they hilarious, but great listeners. They never yell, cuss or throw things at me. They never blame their problems (if they ever voice them aloud) on me.

I am never their problem. I am their child and they love me, no matter how much I may ruin aspects of my life. I love them, to death.

The overprotectiveness is a gift, at times I do wish they would just quit and let me be- but without them I would be so lost. they bring me back, they humble my attitude, they are willing to start over and fix things without me even prompting.

To imagine that God is so much more is unfathomable. Wow: I'm perplexed yet grateful. My two week long headache has now ceased it's pounding, the constant interference is gone. Physically, I am well. Emotionally, I am stable. Spiritually, I am free.