Deep Calls out to Deep

A sacred space where no other can venture into is the mind, the deepest place of the soul. The heart fully articulating it's passions, desires and wants. This is reserved for God and God alone.

It's an inner chamber of solitude. Complete solice. Alone with the Creator. Connected solely to the One from everlasting.

Yet too often this place is congested with traffic. Lies permeate. The fear of man emanates and replaces the fear of the Lord. The art of taking every thought captive is not an art at all, it's a grace. Grace given when asked for, when violently fought for. Hunger drives and grace ensues.

The other side of the face is where most of life is spent, why waste it living on the outside. Live from the inside out.

Communion with the Spirit.

Text messaging proves that humanity can, in fact, carry on a continual conversation. Text messaging has stolen the sacred space praying without ceasing. No, texting is not evil. Consider the time spent. Think about the wasted hours. Remember all the hurt and misconstrued communications that have resulted from this act should one emoticon be misplaced.

The Spirit groans jealously yearning to speak. Humans are the only ones in all of creation who have the capacity to join in on ancient conversations. To listen in on the mysteries from everlasting.

I confess I've missed the mark. Turn and live. Live for the cultivated, private arena where all my innermost realities can be gripped heart to heart with the One who knit me.

Deep calls out to deep. The depth in which yearning cannot even depict the intensity of the heart calling out.

The deep of God crying out to share with me. Yes, I will quiet down. Yes, I will respond to this cry. Yes, I will actively pursue the tending of the garden within in my soul and let the Spirit preserve me.

It's just a matter of time and wisdom will be justified. This is wisdom.

Goodmorning Earth

Have you not known? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth? Isaiah 40.21

The gospel isn't a New Testament revelation. It's been told to real men, real Jewish men and they believed it. So much so did they believe that it was accounted to them as righteousness.

But what is real belief?

Is it spouting of facts and exclaiming ideas? When does the idea actually become the reason all of life flows from? Rather than letting selfish and untrue emotions grip the human psyche perhaps truth of salvation should.

Not just the Cross, but Jesus' perfect life. Not just the Cross, but Jesus' resurrection. Not just the Cross, but Jesus' ascension. Not just the Cross, but Jesus' second coming.

There's more to salvation and the cleansing of sins then a 30-something Jewish man dying 2,000 years ago. It is the fact that He is fully God and fully man, all at the same time. It's not a Jackal and Hyde complex it is truly the fact that His obedience to the Father is His willful choice.

Jesus lived a sinless, perfect life. He understands my weakness in the fact that He had to search through the fog of humanity's deprivation to hear and communicate with the Father.

He rose again! Praise the Lord! If He hadn't rose, then Jesus is a failed Messiah. Yet He came up out of the grave with all power. Jesus walked the earth, ate fish and bread by the sea, He was alive after crucifixion. This is glorious!

Even more so, the God man ascended into heaven! At the right hand of the Father He sits making intercession for humanity, waiting until the day when sanctification is complete and He can rid the earth of wickedness, as He promised.

The day when the heavens open and Jesus' ascends.

But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars of heaven will fall, and the powers in the heavens will be shaken. Then they will see the Son of Man coming in the clouds with great power and glory. And then He will send His angels, and gather together His elect from the four winds, from the farthest part of earth to the farthest part of heaven. Mark 13:4-27

I will see Jesus, whether I'm on the earth or in the farthest part of heaven, to come and purge the earth of sin. For why would the gospel message simply be cleansing momentarily without the reality of forever being cleansed?

So this is what I believe, without it I'm lost in sin, truly deserving hell. I have a blessed hope of a beautiful city coming down out of heaven for me where I will no longer encounter pain, sorrow, fear of man, comparison. And neither will you.

My friend, it's going to be more than words can describe. The hinge pin is do you believe? Does your lifestyle and emotions reflect the truth and reality of a real day coming in your future?

Hunger

I want hunger. A hunger that hinges on revelation of Jesus Christ. Hunger that begets righteousness and holiness. A heavenly hunger, like the seraphim around the throne in Revelation, who after centuries of flying, searching and peering into the tangible beauty of God still cry out night and day.

Even in the most mundane moments of this life, I might reach for more. To lift up my voice and cry out for wisdom as for seeking gold and silver. I've sought gold and silver before, there's a tenacity and willingness to be unrelenting as to lay hold of more. I confess that my perception of seeking Christ does not mirror that which I lust after green paper bills and silver coins, but I want it to.

This hungering is not of my own desire. Only He who searches the hearts and minds of the men and women of the earth, can present such a gift to the human existence. My heart encounters great joy that I, a mere creature, have the capacity to respond with a yes. I say yes.

Blessed are the hungry, for they shall be filled, is my great promise. Filled with brilliant light. Filled with the knowledge of God. Filled with all boldness and understanding that I may testify of the exceedingly great wonders of His power. Filled with Spirit from on high.

Filled presupposes that I have hunger.

Re-upping the Blogging

I'm going to blog again. It's a new season for me and I think I need to do this.

For the first time ever, since being in Kansas City for a year, I am
1. On full-time staff at the International House of Prayer: ihopkc.org
2. Have the best set of roommates a girl could ask for: Lauren, Jenny, Regina and Bethany
3. Encountering the love of Jesus via serving Kyl Means, the man I'm in love with
4. Have the least amount of financial stability in my life
5. Knowing that the God of the Universe, the Genesis 1 Creator and Wisdom himself, Jesus, knows me, sees me, fights for me and loves me.

I trust that plenty of hardships will come in the next months, but beautiful moments of glory trump any of that. For these momentary light afflictions are working in me an eternal weight of glory. It's the truth and reality of eternity staring me right in the face that causes my heart to burn with desire and passion to see the captive set free, the lost saved and Jesus my Bridegroom, King and Judge face to face one day.

This is what I'm made for: to love God and to receive His love for me.

Transformation. Regeneration. Sanctification.
Mercy. Compassion. Justice.
Righteousness. Humility. Hunger.
Prophecy. Weakness. Joy.

Love.

Boyfriend

Everyone,

Meet Kyl.

Cleansing Rain of Mercy

I haven't blogged lately. The truth is that my heart has been undergoing serious surgery. I wish I could say I've been a faithful bride to Jesus. In confronting my barreness, in this wilderness place where the Lord has been calling me to work through patterns and habits in my life that hinder love, I've ignored Him. I began drinking from broken cisterns, not obvious sins but slight applications of medicating the ache of love. Running around Him and not gazing at His face. I'm so used to drive- through Christianity, in which I can get what I want when I want it. Oh, but His timing and process is increasingly and altogether different than mine.

I replaced voluntary love with the rigors of striving and religiousity. I knew God as my Maker, but I did not have a revelation and experiential knowledge of God as my Husband. "For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth." Isaiah 54: 5 A lover will go farther, with intense diligence in contrast to a worker. I want to be a lover of the gospel, not just a worker.

So I've experienced an element of the Lord's kindness to which I can solemnly admit has lead me to repentence. His mercy has rained down over me, cleansed me. The other lovers promised they would cover and sustain me yet they failed me. Only Jesus satisfies. He tells me not to be afraid in coming back to Him and to just come as I am. No longer dependent on my own strengths and charisma, but leaning upon Him. Truly, truly there is rest in the midst of His will. It takes violence to get up under His yoke, but with genuine ease I remain.

In no way am I above the blood of the spotless Lamb. He keeps on taking me back. I am a trophy of His mercy, I still drip with the blood of the Lamb. Sure and steadfast mercy has never left me alone. The Cross is so beautiful, have you ever truly gazed upon it? He broke down the great wall of enminty and gave me His name. The only thing I can give to Him is the sweet fragrance of my weak but sincere love.

Narrow Gate

Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. Matthew 7.14

Am I really on the narrow path?
Am I heading down the way which leads to life or towards destruction?
Is my treasure on earth or in Heaven?
Where do I find my greatest source of joy?
What do I run to when nothing goes right?
What's my attitude like when I get humiliated?
Do I shift blame?
Am I content to keep news to myself or blurt it to everyone I see?
Would I tell a white lie to get out of trouble?
Can I truly say that I live in the spirit or have I begun to be perfected in the flesh?
When's the last time I trembled before the Lord?
Am I overconfident in works?
How often do I linger with Holy Spirit just to be in His presence?
Am I consistently breaking my fast?
Do I fast?
Have I compartmentalized my life?
Do I look to display Jesus everywhere I go?
Am I loving the least of these or sneering at them in my heart?
Is Jesus my day dream?
How do I spend the majority of my time?
To whom is all my attention going?
Is there a passage burning in my heart?