Bennington Ave Roomates

Dream from the Father

This is a dream I had on November 21, 2010

The man had Xerox copies of all my tattoos on the table; each one zoomed in, concise and clear. He had a tender heart towards me like a father to his daughter and invited me to sit with him. In his hand was a giant magnifying glass and he was scouring over each one right in front of me. The flaws glaring. It made me uncomfortable, I was oblivious the permanent fixtures on my body were so obviously imperfect.

We talked for a while about why I had chosen each tattoo. He asked me, Would you like them to be touched up. I responded with the most truthful answer I could muster up, I would, but I have no money. He smiled silently yet sweetly  waiting for me to continue, wanting me to ask him if he would pay for it. I thought to myself how could I ever ask a complete stranger to throw down hundreds of dollars for me. So I proceeded to skirt around the question, I heard there were tattoo artists at IHOP that give discounts, do you know of any of them? Another smile from the man with kind eyes.

A young man walked up to the table and started looking at the Xerox papers over his shoulder. The man introduced him, This is Joe, I’ve mentored him for a while. He’s an artist. Turning to Joe, What do you think, Joe? Can you fix them for free? Joe looked at me, Yes, gladly.

Suddenly all three of us were outside in a parking lot. I was turning to leave and the older man turned to me, Would you? I didn’t understand what he was asking me. He said, Joe just asked if he could pursue you. He’s still going to fix your tattoos whether or not you say yes. There was a twinkle in his eye as he waited for me to respond to Joe’s question. I turned to Joe, Sure, I’d like that.

Ho! Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come buy and eat. Yes, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Isaiah 55:1 I have nothing, there isn’t a thing I could do to obtain the gift of being refined. The Father offered up His Son for my liberty. He set captivity captive by passing through death that I may live blameless. The seemingly permanent blemishes in my character can be fixed for free. To allow Jesus to romance me not because He demands it from me as prerequisite to life, but because He wants to. The Father sees everything wrong with me yet it doesn’t hinder Him from generously giving all that He has. My brokenness doesn’t scare Him away. 

Light From the Father

In You, God, is all source of who I am. From my first breath in the morning to every sense of happiness. Every single piece of my being is wrapped up in You. How could it not? You commanded the light and put every living creature on this earth. In Your light is where I see light. I can’t even comprehend what that means. The Father of lights, where there is no variation or shadow of turning. How can it be? You are utter light and no shadow is cast from You.

Light is bright, it’s warmth. It contains all source of energy and power. Electricity come from it. The whole modern world runs off of light; every computer, television, iPhone and satellite depends on such. It detects the morning, when all rise from sleep and begin a new day. Light is a vitamin source; health to the body. A lack luminosity from the Sun sends many into a downward spiral of depression. Sunny days provoke picnics, long hours at the beach and all forms of exercise. The effect of light goes unrecognized in the routine of daily life.

You are the Giver of life, all of it You uphold by the Word of Your mouth. You keep me, sustain me, refresh me and see that I know I am loved by You. It’s Your mercy in the heavens; the grace that You’ve put forth towards me. It’s Your faithfulness that reaches to the clouds. The earth is abundantly full of Your nearness, of Your reach to humanity- the ones You’ve fashioned out of love. It’s Your righteousness like the great mountains. You constantly do good with a pure gaze and intention. Your judgments are a great deep. They aren’t shallow. There’s purpose and depth to them . You preserve me, O God, in the land of the living.

For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light. Psalm 36

Frailty in Frame

It may be clothed in weakness,
but my reach for You is sincere

I cannot help my unbelief
only to hold onto the hope
that one day I shall see

Though this tug beckons me to disbelief
my spirit witnesses One who is
altogether unknown and other than

A new creation,
set free in joy

I’ve never met another
as kind in this life

Fasten my heart to Yours

I will go the depth,
accepting of a challenge

Frailty in my frame
yet authentic in my love